Commercial and Personal Work

I It’s hard to believe it’s already the middle of May. I know everyone says and thinks that time goes by so fast. Looking back to what I have accomplished so far this year makes me a little upset. I have to confess I’m not quite as proud of myself. I have let my days be filled with mostly client work and making plans. I’m happy to have had all the customers and clients but I didn’t manage this very well. Every time I had either a break or a little time off, I spent on trying new techniques, overthinking where my work was going, analyzing what kind of work I even want to create, what is worth the time, and very little work actually got finished. It’s been a year of a lot of thinking and not as much doing as I would have hoped. Maybe it’s because I turned 30 and an existential crisis was about to happen, but mostly I find myself with less and less time to create whatever I want. And because I know that time is so precious, it needs to be spent right.

Photo by Cristina Byrne

Photo by Cristina Byrne

There are a lot of different things I could be doing, I have lot of ideas for different projects, but which ones are the essentials? the ones I can’t live without, the ones with the best chance of increasing my income and my happiness at the same time? Pretty tough to figure out. I still haven’t. I feel like I’m getting closer but I’m not there yet. Will I ever get there? I got to balance my plans with actions, or this could end up being a regretful year. I need a constant reminder that every plan needs to be followed by an action, or things will never be done. I told myself it’s ok to plan, journal, research and test all I want past 5pm, but until then, I need to be all about action. While I figure out what I want to be known for, what kind of work I need to spend my time creating, I’m also very thankful I have all the clients that have recently found me and are keeping me busy and productive. Why is balance so hard to achieve? Perhaps because it’s not even possible?

Thanks for reading.

B.