Yesterday happened to be a really good day, a rare balanced day. I was able to finish two illustrations, write a bit for the book, go for a long walk, make dinner, spend quality time with my husband and play with my dog. How rare indeed. I think it was simply because I sticked to my schedule, why don’t I do this more often? It felt like I had things in control, like I actually had, what people say, “my life together”. Why are plans and schedules so fragile? It’s like any light wind can get us off rail. Guarding our plans and blocks of time seems to be a challenge, like everything is pulling us away and only the strongest people will continue to stand. Humans are fragile beings, and that in itself bothers me, that a mere miscalculated step will give me a bruise, I get plenty of those, it’s really a miracle in my opinion that we live to 100. But even more fragile than our physical bodies are our plans. How many times do we say we are going to do something and fail? Either by our own lack of discipline or by someone’s agenda? I have found a few things help with this, one is getting the most important thing done in the early morning, before the resistance game starts. But what about plans for later in the day? A few minutes of meditation in the afternoon or a walk has helped me recently with staying focused later in the day, allowing all the extra information we gather to go away. Eating well helps too, healthy foods makes me less lethargic and more prone to sticking to my own rules. But most of the time, those things aren’t enough. I’m not sure if I need a stronger tool to fight this or just learn that control is an illusion.
Thanks for reading.