Yesterday was a very productive day and yet I feel like it could have been better. My plans, goals and expectations for each day are quite high and I’m learning when high is just too high. My husband’s family is coming over to spend the weekend and I am running around trying to finish all my work and all the normal chores I do on Saturdays and Sundays. We are very excited to have them over as it’s been a while but life is very busy right now. I am swamped with work and the year still feels like it’s just getting started. This morning I have to finish my morning routine (doing that right now), make a grocery list and meal plan, go grocery shopping, drop orders at the post office, pick up the dry cleaning, clean half the house (my husband and I share the chores), water the plants, a loud of laundry, blow dry my hair, take care of my nails and eyebrows, and start cooking. All before 3pm, when my mother in law arrives. Obviously it’s all casual and nobody cares if things are done in time, but I can’t help it to at least try.
The reason for the title is: I told myself in the beginning of the week that I would get all done. You see, on top of my client work, every week I need to: film, edit and upload a couple videos for youtube, create a portfolio piece, write 1400 words for my book, work on my online course (trying to publish the first class in March)… there is a lot that goes on top of those creative things like admin, emails, marketing, packing orders… my days are full. My week is full. And I chose it that way. I have a lot of goals and I don’t want any other way. Some of those things are a necessity because they pay my bills - client work. Some are a long term goal - the book. Both essential. But even though I did a lot this week and it was productive and not just busy, I wanted more. And I need to learn to let it go. Next week I can try again.
I like to think I am the kind of person that follows through with her promises. The things I say I’m going to do, I do. I take pride in that. And to keep up with that is hard. I put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m still figuring out a balance. Maybe I need to commit to less goals, maybe I need to have fewer “lazy days”, maybe both. If you read my post this week on Guilt you know what I’m talking about. Either way, I still like to respect the promises I make to myself, I have found to be the cure for my anxiety, do what’s right.
Next, meal planning. Thanks for reading.